As I was checking the mail today, I noticed a flier taped to the side of the community mailbox. Hoping for some information on garage sales, or maybe some information about the new school, I looked closer only to find that it was a notice to the community that a CHILD MOLESTER had moved into the neighborhood.
As in MY neighborhood.
He apparently lives at the end of my street, is 5'11, Caucasian, and drives a white truck.
Thing of it is, I already live my life with the assumption that everyone is a predator until proven otherwise. As a rule, I don't trust the people in the bathroom at McDonald's, the guys building homes around the corner, or even the people at church. My kids don't play out front unattended and I wait outside the door of public restrooms. If I let you watch my kids, or let my kids play at your house, it's about the greatest compliment I can give.
So why would this news freak me out, when I already live in a world of fear and mistrust?
Because now it's real. It has a name. It has an address. It drives a white truck, and lives at the end of my street.
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Not a lot of substance, but it's amazing what you can live on.
10 comments:
Wow! At least you are already taking steps to protect your kids.
and I do feel complimented... I didn't realize what a level of trust I had reached to drive your child to... that Kindergarten/preschool, the one at the church. Anyway! I was very thankful for that carpool.
Well you are a good mom to always be on your toes.
Positive points...
1. you were informed
2. you live in a community who has someone who cares about the children there and chose to inform the rest of the community
3. he is now known to you and you can avoid the house, the truck, the man
4. sometimes I think it's easier to know who is a danger...the scarier people are the ones who gain your trust, the trust of the community and the trust of your children and then pounce...the patient ones, who act normal and lovely and lay in wait for an opportunity...these are the people that really scare me!
anyhow, i'm so sorry, but you are doing what is in your power to keep your kiddos safe.
I agree with tz. At least you are aware of the danger. It still sucks!
At the beginning of the school year the preschool sent out the same sort of the thing to inform the parents. I had actually forgotten about it, now almost nine months later, but this is a great reminder.
Hey Ganelle yes I followed Garitys blog to yours:) Ask Gert about the predator that lived across from them. We had one here in Utah that was watching my girls. It is scary but just teach your kids to scream scratch and be strong. I was very much like you in keeping an eye on them constantly but then I realized I was becoming a helicopter mom and needed to give them a chance. I watch them out the window when they are in front so they think they are on their own. I leave RS a bit early because the teachers here just let all the kids loose at the end and I make sure they go to the meeting spot and I stay behind so they don't see me. Make sure you look on the registery and see what exactly he is on there for. He might not even like kids and just got put on for having a relationship with a 16 yr old and he was 18??
Ok getting off my soapbox(and you thought Garity was blunt)
fox: It really is a compliment. I've wiggled out of more than one carpool.
tz: You're absolutely right. It just doesn't seem to make me feel better...
darci: Diamond talks to me about that ALL the time. It's so hard to find the right balance between protecting and not creating fearfull children. I've probably already blown it by talking to them about our new neighbor. But how do I not warn them? AUGGGHHH!
Oh, and it was "sex assault on a child". I've tried to find out more information, and have been unable...
I was reading Garity's blog, saw your name and pushed a button and here I am. Gert can give you my e-mail. Loooooong time no see!!! your blog is a hoot! I love all this new fangled tech stuff. Me, I still just call and write letters. . .
Gert's Mom
Ganelle, here is what I did when a convicted child molester moved in NEXT DOOR to us in Fredericksburg, Virginia at the end of summer 2007. He brutally molested a 5 year old girl, he spent 15 years of a 30 year sentence in the penitentiary, got out and moved in (along with his 5 kids and wife) with his parents who were renting next door. His father told me "well you didn't know this little girl, she had a habit of crawling up into our laps" He SERIOUSLY said this! I swear, those 5 year old hussies need to be controlled, poor guy being taken advantage of like that!
So I walked up to his house, knocked on the door said "Welcome to the neighborhood, I understand your daughter is in my son's class, she is really going to like the teacher. By the way, I wanted to let you know, Kris and I are both aware of your history and the time you spent in the penitentiary. Please know that while I believe in forgiveness and the rule of law that states you have paid your dues to society I am still watching you out of concern for my own children and others in the neighborhood. I ask you to stay off of our property, I am armed and will consider you a threat to my family if you do come onto our property (we were on acreage with no fences but he was aware of the prperty lines). Other than that, we will mind our own business as long as you do the same. I would like to know if any of the kids on the bus harass your kids because of your history since the neighborhood has been notified of your past (Oops! I guess that would be my fault since I was the one who raised the alarm and passed out his picture). Your kids shouldn't be punished for your perversions and I will help out if your children become the target of bullying." He just sat there staring at me in shock as I said this, I was very sweet about it, using the same tone I'd use if I was telling him about the neighborhood playgroup. I wasn't in his face or threatening, just very sweet and neigborly but he needed to understand that I was aware of the situation and I was not going to be scared into hiding behind closed doors with my kids. I wanted to be visible and more than anything I wanted him to be scared of me not the other way around.
Needless to say, Kris and I started immediately trying to find a legal way to get them kicked out. Turns out the size of their home and the number of people living in it was too much for the septic tank to handle and their septic tank began to have major problems. I was able to go through the county to bring attention to the problem (nothing like having eau de toilette permeating a crisp fall morning or the raw sewage leeching onto your own property after a rain storm) and the owner was forced to kick them out until he fixed the septic system.
Between that time, there were a few times Keith would stand in his backyard, only wearing too tight boxers (he was a disgustingly greasy obese short guy...think of the movie "Deliverance" and you'll get the image), and watch my kids play. Each time, I'd go out on the porch and yell across the tree line to him (again sweetly) "Good afternoon Keith!" and he would sheepishly waddle back in. I gave the boys walkie talkies they wore on their belts with orders to call me if they saw anyone on the property. They were to stay together at all times and the hardest thing of all was to explain to them what was going on but they had to be aware that some people were not good people.
Anyway, I tell you all this only because you and I both have no problem saying what's on our mind and this would be one of those instances where it could really pay off. It really paid off for us and while I didn't let my guard down I had peace of mind knowing he knew that I knew and I was not some little scared homemaker twiddling my thumbs in my kitchen. It was quite empowering...not that I need any more of that of course...but this was my neighborhood not the other way around.
I so know what you mean...with this post...
Great idea about a letter drop though ...
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