Fast forward to this past weekend. Big Boy #2's little league baseball team was playing in a Memorial Day tournament. From the get go I told the coach that we would not be playing any Sunday games. (A major reason we picked this particular league was for its absence of Sunday games.) And it's not like the team was likely to make it to the championship game anyway - they were tied for last place. It was a pretty easy call.
Friday night BB#2 pitched six innings in the first game, gave up only three runs, and lead his team to a victory! Their second win of the season. The boys were thrilled. The next day we played again, and won again! A virtual miracle! All of a sudden the team was playing in the championship game - on Sunday.
We talked it over and decided that we didn't want BB#2 to think that we compromise our faith in the name of a baseball game - even a championship one. BB#2 was pretty good about it. It was what it was, and he accepted that. I think I had the hardest time of anyone - which really, really surprised me. I knew that although the coach was understanding of our stance, he really wanted his first baseman. (He had used up his arm Friday and although unable to pitch, BB#2 was still an integral part of the team). I struggled with the commitment to the team, with the strictness of our stance, with the look on my boy's face when he realized he wouldn't be there with his team battling for first place.
Between text updates from another player's mom, we talked to several friends whom we totally respect at church on Sunday and many (but certainly not all) said they would have let their kid play. There was an award ceremony that evening and we figured that might be a good compromise - letting him receive his trophy with the team. However, we didn't get enough notice and missed that as well. The whole thing left me feeling both disappointed and frustrated. The team lost the championship, and came in second overall.
I guess the real question is what is the right thing to do? I know a lot of people will say just let him go to the game. But doesn't that teach him to compromise his principals? Do we really want to send that message to an almost eleven year old? I don't want him beginning adolescence with the notion that principles are situational. And yes, sometimes it's hard. Really, really hard to do what you believe is right.
Some will say you just obey the commandments - there is a reason they aren't called the Ten Suggestions. Diamond dealt with this many times as a kid, and he missed more than one game in the name of keeping the Sabbath Day holy. (It's part of the reason why I married him - I admired his dedication). But that feels so black and white - a way of thinking that I'm not particularly fond of. When we travel our Sabbath observance certainly looks different. If we accommodate that, why wouldn't we make an exception for this?
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11 comments:
I think you did the right thing. It definitely was a hard choice but he hopefully learned a lesson about obeying the commandments. I know people who have let their kids play on Sundays and now they look back and regret that decision. A hard choice to make as a parent!
That is tough. I think you did the right thing too. This could be an experience that BB#2 will reflect on in the future and how much easier it will be to keep the sabbath day holy when he did it on a day like this.
I agree with you completely when you said you think it is hardest on you. I feel the exact same way when we say no to games, birthdays, or whatever Sunday activity is happening. I just HATE it! At this point we have told the children to pray about it and we could talk it over with them, and to date we haven't had any problems. I know that will come to an end at some point and I think there is value in allowing them to truly make that decision on their own, with them owning the consequences fully. Right or wrong, good or bad.
One of my really good friends in WA allowed her children to play on Sunday and her boys are AMAZING! Her oldest son went on a mission and has strong testimony. Maybe there isn't a right or wrong answer after all?
In other news way to go BB2 on an awesome baseball year!
I don't have kids that age who are involved in serious activities but I think you did the right thing. I think he'll remember this and it'll be a good example for him when things come up in the future. Maybe when he gets older you can let him make the decision for himself, but I think you were right in what you did this time. I think it's a good example for all your kids. Sports aren't the most important thing, there'll be other games and other championships. Good job!
The funny thing is that I NEVER would have thought this would be a tough call for me. Frankly, I could care less about sports, and I always thought this was a no brainer. I never had a problem saying no to birthday parties or things like that.
Danae, sooo much harder on me. Although he does see it as his own choice, because we have always been so firm on the Sabbath he didn't even think to really question it. As he gets older, maybe we do let him truly own the decision?
ARRR! SOO much harder than I would have imagined even a week ago!
As someone not of your faith, and whose religion does not share this practice, I think you did the right thing.
, Once you have opened the door to exceptions and compromises, it is all but impossible to go back. The boys would start to question it, at least that would be my guess.
As for when you travel, I suspect you still make every effort to not travel on the sabbath, and the things you do if you are on the road, are also modified.
Brian sent me a link this morning because of this young mans interest in playing basketball at UK under John Calipari. But I think it is very interesting part of this discussion. Maybe it is more about always having our priorities in line, and the potential example that is to others. I hope you enjoy it!
http://sportsillustrated.cnn.com/vault/article/magazine/MAG1198498/index.htm
Great article Danae. It seems like he has really found a great balance.
I believe you also made the right decision. Some family decisions are dificult and we have to debate sometimes, but our convictions and faith keep us heading in the right direction.
I don't share your faith; however, my family has had similar situations where we have had to say 'no'.
Are you building character or an athlete? You've shown you're priority is character. Good job.
It's a hard call, but I agree with not playing in the game. We have given up events too, some, every year. It does get frustrating and is hard for everyone.
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