School last year was a nightmare for Big Boy #1.
For some unknown reason, it seemed that BB1's third grade teacher was intent to prove that he was nothing special - and he absolutely absorbed her message. BB1 is normally a strong, confident student. But last year he would say things like "I read like a baby!" or "I hate school!" or "I'm stupid!" Her evaluations seemed rigid and when she assessed him her results always seemed off to me. It was enough to make me doubt my own observations. Was I crazy?
When he wasn't putting himself down, he was raging at home. It was like it took everything he had to hold it together in school, and once he got home he would let it all go. I would look at him and think "Something is NOT right!" It was beyond frustrating for me and had brought me to tears on multiple occasions. I was worried. Seriously worried.
Diamond kept saying; "Let's wait to see what happens next year, with a different teacher."
Oh what a difference a teacher can make!!!
This year BB1 comes home all kinds of chatty about school. He's never been one to talk about what he did in school, but he's so excited about what they have been doing that he can't help himself. He thinks about what he is learning outside of school, piping up with random things like "Did you know that the state flower is a Columbine? Isn't that COOL?" I'm not sure what this teacher is doing right, but, WOW! He is back to liking school, liking learning, and most of all, liking himself.
At home, he is a different kid. The meltdowns have all but disappeared. The bitterness, the defensiveness, the hostility - all back to reasonable amounts. I can't say he is perfect, but he has returned to the helpful, fun kid that I used to know. It's like I can breathe again.
So maybe I'm not crazy after all!
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12 comments:
What a huge relief! You wonder how many other children she has crushed during her career.
Oh, and thought you'd like to know, I had chocolate chip cookies for breakfast.
Thank goodness for teachers who get it. Maybe last year's teacher could find another job outside of education
garity: I've been know to have cookies for breakfast as well! Yum!
To be fair, I have to say that some other parents/kids seemed to really like her. I think there were some major personality conflicts for us. There was a group who were fine with her, and another group who struggled. I think I was the captain of the "we're struggling" party. AUGH!
well at least you're not crazy about that...other things????
JK---it just seemed like a good set up
but in all seriousness, you must be so relieved. Thankfully that was just one year, and he learned the difference between a good teacher and a bad one and he learned that he could survive a bad one too, that maybe it's not him but her...that in itself can be invaluable.
Thanks for the timely reminder that much as we want to believe it is "all about out kid"...be it good or bad...it does take two to tango and the pairing of BB1 and this teacher was just wrong.
We're dealing with a similar situation this year with Thing One...not that the teacher is bad, he's just not the right match for my son. It's taken me awhile to realize that some of the burden/responsiblity of how the child is doing falls back on the teacher and his/her approach.
So excited to hear you've got your happy guy back!
I'm so glad that he is feeling better now. I know how a rough year can take it's toll on a kiddo.
It is amazing how different people can react to each other. I suppose it's a good life lesson - you aren't always going to get along with everybody, and sometimes is just isn't your fault - but I just always expect teachers to be above that, you know? You being a teacher probably ends up being doubly frustrating when your child has a bad year with a teacher he doesn't mesh well with.
It is great to hear that he is back to loving school and that her effect didn't last longer then his time in her class.
I have a friend here, in Rexburg that had big problems with her daughter's teacher, similar to what you were dealing with. She marched right up to the principal and said, "Tomorrow, my daughter WILL NOT be in this class! I will home school before she spends another day with this teacher." My mouth dropped open. "You can DO that?" I asked. Apparently so because it worked (and they want the funding for your kids). I really think our kids are worth standing up for because, like you said, there are bound to be personality conflicts from time to time and he might really thrive in the classroom across the hall. There's another rant!! :) Glad he's doing well this year.
Amen to what Lori said.
I am SO glad for your little man that he is thriving this year. It's times like what you just described that prove to the adage, "A mother is only as happy as her saddest child."
You can make sure none of your other kids have that teacher. I received a very demeaning phone call from a teacher who made the call while my son sat and listened (he was at school with the teacher). I made my husband call the principal and get him out of that class by the next morning. They were croaking, insisted they had to change his entire schedule - so change it! Note - I'm not a chicken but I knew he could actually take a day off work if necessary and I had day care children - no time off there.
Glad he's doing well this year!
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