He's Seven

The little guy turned seven!  He opted for a bit of smaller group going miniature golfing for his party:

He Likes:  Build-a-Bear Workshop, movies, birthday parties, sports (especially basketball), freeze tag, kickball, Texas Roadhouse, Nanna's stuffed potatoes, shopping, remote-control things

He Dislikes: Bananas, not being able to play with his brothers and their friends, getting hurt, sleeping in his own bed, taking showers, getting kicked out of his brothers room at bedtime.

What I love about the Caboose:  Sometimes in the morning, he'll wake me up by giving me kisses.  It startles me every time, but I love it!  He will also randomly come up and give me these super great, strong hugs - pure heaven!  He has a fabulous laugh and is a super funny kid - even if his humor leans toward yucky, boy stuff.  The Caboose is a smart little kid and will surprise me with the things he comes up with.  (Tonight at dinner he used the word "transparent" appropriately).  He can totally focus on something that interests him and is willing to tackle hard things if he decides it's worth it.  (ex:  He is reading the Book of Mormon, already in 3rd Nephi.  He doesn't understand most of it, but he is faithfully reading each and every word). 

He's an all around wonderful person and I can't wait to see what he becomes as he continues to grow.  Love you buddy!

An Eagle!

My Eagle Scout!

I had to write a letter of reference for BB#1's Eagle.  Here is my letter:  As Big Boy #1 and I climbed up out of Castlewood Canyon fulfilling the last requirement of his last merit badge we passed a group of young Cub Scouts on their way in.  Looking at those young boys, their small bodies buzzing with energy, holding fast to the hands of their parents and leaders contrasted so completely with my fourteen year old son, full of confidence and smooth in his steps.  It didn’t seem like so very long ago that BB#1 was that little Cub Scout.  That little boy had been replaced by a young man who has become a determined and organized leader.

Watching BB#1 work through his Eagle Project, I was amazed at how he has evolved into such a capable leader.  I give due credit to the phenomenal Scout leaders who taught my boy how to lead.  Sean M. used to call BB#1 to discuss what he needed to do for an upcoming activity.  Although it probably would have been easier to just do it himself, Sean would take the time to explain to my son why and how something needed to be done.  That time invested in BB#1 came to fruition when I saw him organize and plan for both his fund raiser and actual eagle project.  Craig H. has been another critical force in BB#1's life.  I spent more than one evening sitting on Craig’s couch listening as he walked Trevor through the practical steps and situations that Trevor needed to address.  Again, that time invested in him resurfaced as BB#1 worked through the practicalities and logistical concerns of organizing a group of people to complete a task.  The efforts of dedicated leaders created another generation of a leader.  I am so very grateful to those dedicated leaders for how they mentored my son!

Big Boy #1 with Rich (Scout Committee Chair), Craig H. (Scout Master) and Sean M. (Assistant Scout Master):

 Taking the Scout Oath:

BB#1 is a determined self starter who focuses on long-term goals.  The same skills he used to plan and organize his eagle project apply to his efforts in school.  After school BB#1 does an amazing job of getting right to homework.  He studies and plans for upcoming papers and tests and organizes his schedule so that he will be able to accomplish the myriad of demands placed on him.  Even at a young age, BB#1 was able to postpone the immediate rewards for a greater longer-term benefit.  When he was in preschool his teachers gave all the students a little gift on the last day of class before Winter Break.  BB#1 thought it would be more exciting to wait to open his gift until Christmas day.  Although I told him that he was welcomed to open it right away, his determination was strong and he waited until it was Christmas day to open his gift.  That kind of determination and self-control continues to define BB#1.  He set a goal to have his Eagle by the time he was fourteen and he planned and accomplished that noble goal.
Diamond and BB#1, presenting him with a plaque from his Grandma & Grandpa.

Big Boy #1 presented his Grandpa with the Mentor pin.  It was certainly earned - my dad was there helping BB#1 with nearly every aspect of his Eagle project.  Thanks dad for everything you did for my boys!

 

Seeing those little Cub Scouts at the beginning of the trail poignantly illustrated the tremendous growth that BB#1 has enjoyed in his time in the scouting program.  I am proud of the determined, focused leader he has become.  After spending all morning backpacking just me and my son I could not have been more proud.  He is becoming an amazing person, and I consider myself lucky to be able to be able to witness that journey. 

 The Presentation of the Eagle

 The Eagles Nest:  All those in attendance who had earned their Eagle Scouts. 

 Here I am being presented with my Mother's Pin.  Diamond did more than his share getting the BB#1 up to Life, but I do believe I have earned the Mother's Pin for my role in helping him get to Eagle.

For refreshments?  Donuts of course!  We also set up a tent, complete with camp chairs and a 'fire pit' for the ceremony.

BB#1's favorite part?  Steve H. (the current Scout Master) requested an American flag be hung over the US Capital building in his honor.  Super cool.  So proud of you!

Books

I haven't updated my books for quite awhile. Here's the rundown on the latest of my reads.

Night Circus was a really different kind of book - and I liked that.  In this book magicians are not illusionists but real magicians who use a circus as the means to display their talent and compete with one another to create amazing things.  The book grabbed my interest right away and kept me wondering exactly what is going on. There was splendor and intrigue and I enjoyed it quite a bit.  (*Available on kindle through my library).

Set in the Antebellum US, Soul Catcher follows a slave catcher as he tracks down a gorgeous and strong willed runaway slave.  The book did a solid job of speaking to the attitudes of Southerners of that time and explained the diverse attitudes of that time via the storyline.  There were a few moments of modern political correctness, but on the whole it stayed historically true,which was what I liked so much about it.  There was some rough language, etc. but it felt representative of the story being told. 

I LOVED this one! As a sociologist who has focused on gender issues, Cinderella Ate My Daughter was right up my alley.  This non-fiction, yet humorous book examines modern culture, focusing specifically on how younger girls learn and express gender.  Orenstein addresses marketing, media and parenting.  She discussed Toddlers and Tiaras, Disney movies, mothering groups, as well as academic studies that were so insightful I referred to them in the soc. class I teach (like how women's math scores decrease after trying on swim suits).  Stuff like that fascinates me! I devoured the book.   LOVED it!  (*Available on kindle through my library).

Girl in Translation follows a recently immigrated Chinese mother and daughter who are fighting to pull themselves out of extreme poverty.  It's a fascinating look into the awful state of the weak and vulnerable immigrant population trapped working in illegal conditions in the garment industry.   Luckily the daughter Kimberly is incredibly bright and opportunities present themselves by virtue of her talent. The book is fiction, but based on the author's experiences as a Chinese immigrant.  It was ultimately hopeful and a captivating and quick read.  (*Available on kindle through my library).

I was a big fan of Mad About You and had thoroughly enjoyed Reiser's earlier books Couplehood and  Babyhood.  When I saw he had another book out I jumped at it.  It was the perfect vacation read - light and funny with several touching and poignant parts.  I loved reading about his two boys (one with special needs) in his honest and loving voice.  I recommend it! (*Available on kindle through my library).

The historian in me was drawn to When Everything Changed.  This non-fiction text examines how women in the US have gained economic and political strength over the last fifty years.  The first chunk of the book details life for women in the 1960s (that part alone was worth the read) and then continues though to today.  Collins addressed the overlap with the Civil Rights Movement, legal issues, how abortion works into the debate, etc. It's a history book for sure, but the author avoids dryness by sharing story after story of the women who fought for equality.  As I was reading, I was constantly sharing with Diamond the things I was learning and I wish I had a hard copy to write on and keep in my library.  I doubt this book is for everyone, but I enjoyed it. (*Available on kindle through my library).

Ladies Auxiliary takes the reader inside a small, southern and totally Orthodox Jewish town.  Despite all of that, I related to so very much of the novel.  Mirvis breaks down the social dynamics of a group of women thrown into each others lives by virtue of geography and faith - in other words, a Mormon ward.  I could envision each character as someone I knew and I thought the author did an outstanding job of addressing the "what's culture and what's doctrine" debate that I find myself fighting regularly.  Ladies Auxiliary is a quick and easy read that I would totally recommend. 

Jane Eyre is a classic - which is pretty much the only reason I read it. I didn't really connect to the novel.  Jane's a little too perfect.  Mr. Rochester bugged me.  It moved a little slow.  The language was a little too descriptive for my tastes, etc.  I don't regret reading it, but I didn't love it.  (*Available on kindle through my library).

Unnatural Selection is a non fiction book that marries the sociologist with the historian as it explains both the causes and effects of sex selecting for boys throughout the world.  There are startling pieces of information (for example, the world is missing over 600 million women - the total number of all American females, from sex selective abortion).  The first third gives the history and driving forces and the last third addresses the startling and fascinating impacts (the middle third? not my favorite).  This is probably another book that many people might not take to, but I love books that explore these types of issues.  (*Available on kindle through my library).

Newbury gave an honorable mention to Breaking Stalin's Nose, a children's book which depicts Stalin's Soviet Union from the perspective of a young boy.  When the secret police suddenly take Sasha's father into custody, our hero becomes disillusioned by a government that is far from the ideal system he had always believed in.   It's super short and does a good job of showing life in Russia. 

My friend Christine is a big fan of the Gallagher Girls series, so I thought I would give it a try.  It's youth fiction, light and easy.  This first book in the series, tells of young Cammie who is a super smart spy-in-training that falls for a local boy.  She uses the spy skills she has learned in her all girl's spy academy to managed this new and unfamiliar relationship.  It's silly, it's cute, it's fun, but  I'm not sure if I'll read any more of the series. 

This is one of those free kindle books from amazon that I downloaded just to have something on my kindle to read.  A divorcee moves into a new home only to find that her next door neighbor is a famous author who she hates at first but is engaged to before the story ends.  It's predictable, but not a bad read.  It takes place the week before Christmas and is set in Salt Lake City.  It feels like a Mormon author, but there is nothing so completely overt that it becomes a "Mormon book". Fluff for sure.  Fine enough for something to read the week before Christmas.

 

I took Remember Me? on our Bahama's cruise for a fun and light read.  Kinsella didn't let me down.  After an accident leaves Lexi with a brain injury which prevents her from remembering the last five years, she finds her 'new' life to be completely different than the life she remembers.  It seems as if Lexi won the lottery with her handsome husband, fancy flat and impressive job.  However, she quickly finds out that her new life isn't quite so simple.  Fluff for sure, but I enjoyed it.  (*Available on kindle through my library).

I also hosted Okay for Now for my book club, so I reread that.  Still love it.  (Although for me it seems books are never quite as good the second time around). 

My favorites of this group would be Cinderella Ate My Daughter, Ladies Auxiliary and Girl in Translation.  Enjoy!

I Have a First Grader

It's been a little over a month since the horrific shooting in Newton, Connecticut and I still feel it.  Every day.  I am the mother of a first grader - the exact same age of those twenty little souls that were brutally shot down while at school.

I feel it in the morning as I hurry my little boy along to get ready for school.  I look at his little body - leaping around the family room in nothing but his Spiderman undies and I think of his innocence.  I feel it when I kiss him goodbye and send him off to school.  I have always told me children "Love you!" when they leave for the day.  Well, almost always.  Not if we're in a hurry.  Not if carpool came early.  Not if... It's different now.  I make him look me in the eyes when I say it.  It's much more deliberate than it used to me. 

I feel it when I volunteer each week in his school.  I look around his classroom for places to hide.  I question whether or not I should point out that the teachers desk is located in a corner, and largely obscured by boxes and shelves.  Of course I shouldn't, right?  I don't want to scare him. He doesn't even know what happened.  I was careful not to watch any coverage when he was around.  But when I am there, I wonder if his little body would fit inside the closet.  I wonder how many children could hide in the few spots that are available. 

I feel it when I pick him up after school.  I watch the stream of children running and laughing at the end of the day and wonder how anyone could ever target such young children.  I hug my first grader and kiss him and look at the faces of the other parents who are hugging and kissing their children.  I think of the parents who don't have a child to hug and kiss and I can physically feel that pain. I look through his backpack overflowing with drawings and writings and I wonder "Should I save this stuff?  What if it's the last story I get to read?  What if it's the last drawing?"

I feel it when I see how completely young my first grader really is.  The day after the shootings I heard crying coming from my little boy's bedroom.  When I went in to see what was going on he had tucked himself into the corner and was sobbing because BB#1 had spoken to him "in a mean voice".  Last night he was scared to go to bed because he had seen a book with a picture of a vampire on the cover.  A picture.  Of something pretend.  To actually witness such a massacre would shape a young life in enumerable ways.  I think of the fear those children must have felt as they watched their teacher and classmates die.  I understand that one child did survive the actual shooting.  I'm so grateful he made it out alive, but I can't begin to imagine the degree to which his soul has been wounded.    I sometimes allow myself to think of my little boy having to witness such terror.  To do much more than begin that line of thought about does me in. 

I feel it at home when my first grader doesn't want to go to bed.  The week of the shooting my little boy had been having a series of bad dreams and wanted to sleep in our room.  Usually I make him sleep on the floor next to our bed when he needs to be a little closer to us.  That week I allowed him to sleep snugly between me and my husband.  It was a relief to have him so close, to feel his body rise and fall steady and sound.  A month later and I still want him close to me. When he has a hard time falling asleep I cuddle him until he drifts off.  It's as much for me and it is for him.  I can feel the warmth of his breath and it makes me feel simultaneously blessed and terrified. 

I felt it at church when the children were practicing their Christmas songs.  I had to walk out of the room when they were singing "It's Christmas Eve/I'm tucked in bed/I'm snug and warm/My prayers are said".  I felt it keenly on Christmas Eve as we laid out the cookies for Santa and my first grader was so excited he couldn't hold still.  I felt it Christmas morning as I looked at the opened presents.  For some reason I was fixated on the thought of unopened Christmas presents.  What does a parent do with those presents?  Give them away?  Donate them?  Redistribute those packages to other siblings?  How does a parent confront such a gut wrenching sight as unopened Christmas gifts?  I thought of those families a lot on Christmas day.

I feel it all the time.  I suppose it has made me cherish my little boy, and it has.  But it's not a pleasant kind of thing.  It's laced with fear and worry and desperation.  I put  myself in the place of those parents and I ache.  I see pictures on Facebook or in the  news and I see my own child.  It's not that I'm unwell, or crying a bunch, or am paralyzed.  But it's there, in the back of my mind.  And I feel that.