So it Continues

My BFF and I have a long and tangled history of practical jokes. Unfortunately, I didn't think of that when, on our way out of town, we gave her our keys - (so the car could be driven to a pick up location before we got home.)

I got this text before we even got to the airport: "You realize you just gave me ALL of your keys. This should be fun."

But, hey, I was on my way to the Caribbean - so I promptly forgot all about it until we got home last night.

Here's a copy of Vern's blog post:

Dear Ganelle:
I sure hope you had fun on your cruise. Now when people ask you where you got your tan you can say, “I’ve been in the Caribbean!” instead of, “You know that little booth with the cancer beds off of Main Street?” While you’ve been gone you missed a few things like THREE FREAKIN’ SNOW STORMS. I imagine that’s what Christmas feels like in Hell; at first you’re all, “How nice, I think I’ll just take it easy, have some hot chocolate and read a book.” But then on day seven you’re like, “Where’s that ice pick?! I swear I heard someone smile!” Then again, I felt bad because I thought if it was Christmas then you and your whole family were missing it! And with three young boys, how would you possibly be able to stand missing Christmas, even if it was in Hell?

SO.

I have good news and bad news.

Good news: Your house is still standing.

Bad news: It’s FREEZING in there!! Did you completely turn off the heat while you were gone? What if your pipes froze?!Good news: We didn’t see any flooding, so I think you’re good.

Bad news: Your Diet Coke looked really lonely sitting in your fridge all by itself.
Good news: As your friend and a woman who had been fasting since 7am, I jumped in to help.

More good news: When I take pictures with my head tilted back it smooths out my double chin. Bonus!
Bad news: You left a puzzle undone.

Good news: That Cory is such a helper!

Bad news: After being cooped up in a frigid house with closed blinds for a solid week your plants were looking forlorn.
Good news: Forlorn is Drew’s specialty! Here he is giving them a little TLC.

Bad news: Your candlesticks had no candles on them. What do you think they are there for anyway?
Good news: Riiiight. Now I remember.


Bad news: The other 33 cans that we hid around your house are not as easy to find.
Good news: THIRTY-SIX FREE CANS OF DIET COKE!

Bad news: Holy crap, it’s Christmas and we didn’t bring any presents!
Good news: You had some stuff in your fridge. Situation UNDER CONTROL.

Bad news: We got on a roll.


Good news: When you get back if someone complains that you weren’t answering your phone you could be like, “Sorry, I had to unwrap it first.” And then you’ll realize that it’s just easier to say you were going to the bathroom.

Bad news: You’re no longer on vacation.

More bad news: This also means that nobody will be delivering you croissants and orange juice to your room just because you picked up the phone and told them to.To reiterate: Gopher no longer works for you.

Good news: Look at all the pretty colors!

Yours Truly,Vern

p.s. I told Facebook you were expecting and having a girl. Everyone’s really excited for you!

The kids have had a great time unwrapping all the oranges this morning. And they are enjoying hunting for diet Coke (BTW: thanks for those!) You actually held yourself in great restrait! And as for the baby, well, I know I've added a few pounds lately, but really? I don't need everyone checking out my waistline thankyouverymuch!